WHO IS A VIRGIN?
A virgin is a person who has never had any form of
sexual intercourse before being it penovaginal, anal
or oral SEX ....period!
Couple of years back, in order to encourage people
who have had sex before to abstain, the term
secondary virginity was introduced.
Hymen: _is a thin membrane that partly covers the
vagina. There are different types of hymen and some
can even cover the vagina entirely (imperforated)._
Unfortunately, a lot of people use the presence or
absence of the hymen to determine a female's
virginity. That can be very deceptive because there
are so many ladies out there without their hymen but
have never had sex before. Sadly, they are expected
to bleed on their first sexual intercourse and if it
doesn't happen, then it means they told a lie. This
controversy has gone on for decades and still going
on. A lot of boyfriends and husbands have all lost
trust for their partners due to this issue of virginity.
_Is there anything which determines that a man has
never had sex before?_
There is nothing except what the man says...his word!
_Isn't the word of a female also enough if she says
she is a virgin?_
There are certain activities that can cause a person to
break the hymen. Some of the activities include:
1. Dripping hot or warm water into the vagina of a
baby when bathing for the baby. Some mothers or
caretakers do this in the name of dressing sores
inside the vagina or cleaning the vagina... what a
shock!
2. Some parents or caretakers also punish children
by grinding ginger with pepper and inserting it into
the vagina as a form of punishment.
3. Riding bicycle, motorcycle, horse riding etc are
some of the activities that can cause the hymen to
break.
4. Some people also got their hymen broken due to
medication. Some medicines are inserted into the
vagina which can also cause the hymen to break or
wear off.
In other cases, some also gets their hymen broken
because a paedophile inserted his penis or finger
into the child's vagina (defilement). Innocent and
naive, she may not know or understand what
happened. She may not tell or could not even talk
well or at all, depending on the age or maturity of the
baby or child. She grows up and can't recall herself
having sex with anybody. She thinks herself as a
virgin. _Is she wrong to say she is? Do you blame her
for saying so?_
Some people also break their hymen in the game, ''
*maame ne paapa*'' (a game by children role playing
parents) by using the penis or the finger.
_Is it still worth using the presence or absence of a
females hymen to judge her?_
In any case, what really matters in a relationship?
Is it
the hymen of a person or her attitude and behaviour
that matter?
Its possible to find somebody whose hymen is
broken or have had sex before but his or her heart is
pure and with good character.
It is also possible to
find somebody whose hymen is intact or have not
had penovaginal sex before but the character of that
person is terrible.
There are some people with their hymen intact but
have had sex before.
1. Some people have thick hymen such that they can
have sex several times but the hymen will still be
there. In some situations, such hymen is surgically
removed.
2. Some people intentionally have anal sex in order
to preserve their hymen for men who place high
value on the presence of hymen.
3. Others also engage in oral sex all in the name of
keeping their hymen intact.
Unfortunately for them and their knowledge, these
are all forms of sexual intercourse.
All of them can
also lead to *
Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
It's about time we take a second look at the issue of
virginity otherwise we will continue to treat people
unfairly, push people into doing certain things to
preserve they hymen, make people feel bad for
something which happened to them through no fault
of theirs.
_Even if people have had sex before, don't they
deserve a better relationship or marriage?
_ Most of
the great women and celebrated women and men in
the world including great men and women of God,
did not marry as a virgin.
The present character or behaviour of the person is
what counts and not presence or the absence of
hymen.
FOR PURPOSE OF CLARITY AND FEAR OF BEING
MISUNDERSTOOD...
Virginity is a standard for everyone ( both male and
female) but for the purpose of this writeup, without
any form of bias, no woman should be judged by the
presence or absence of the hymen.
Thanks.
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